


How Not to Have A Crush

by Starry_fics



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Also you can pry short Michael from my cold dead hands, Fluff, GET IT, Gay, Gay Michael Mell, Honestly I just wanted to throw out there, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I am literally in, I love short chubby michael okay, I trash on pineapple pizza, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light agnst?, M/M, Michael with accepting parents, Never - Freeform, Pining, RichJake if you squint, Self projecting?, Which is ironic, You can pry ace/aro christine from my cold dead hands, a l l o f i t, also, and I am in hell, and honestly same, bc their other ship name, because I love pineapple pizza, i need to stop, is Meremy hell, is my new aesthetic, its so gay, like its all fluff and pining, me? - Freeform, meremy hell, only for like 6 seconds though, post squip, that Michael Mell loved Pineapple pizza, that whole scene was just for the 'is that your boyfriend' bit, they love their son, who tease him abt Jeremy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starry_fics/pseuds/Starry_fics
Summary: Michael knew from day one that he was absolutely and positively fucked. Sure, it had been easier at first, they were only twelve. He promised himself that he would get over it sooner or later, but he knew realistically it would take a little while. But this? This was absolutely fucking absurd. He had known Jeremy for almost 13 years, he should have been over this by now.Yet here he was.____Or: Pining!Michael because I am weak okay





	How Not to Have A Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, would you look at that, me writing a fluff fic. Originally I wasn't gonna post this, but I had a lot of people want to read it so I thought fuck it and now I'm adding it to A03. This is literally just 8000 words of fluff and honestly, I'm in love. Also, I'm a slut for Michael and Jeremy calling each other nicknames, okay? It's just so cute n' pure. Anyways, this escalated really quickly. I intended for this to be a 5000-word quick little thing that was only for my friend but?? it's over 8000 words? This is by far the longest fic I've ever written. It was 19 pages in google docs. I've been writing this since July 8th. It's literally the 22nd rn. I had so much writers block and just shshshshsh. But it's done at least so,,, enjoy.
> 
> BTW!! I AM ADDING AN EPILOUGE RN SO THE MAIN STORY IS DONE IF THATS WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABT

Michael knew from day one that he was absolutely and positively fucked. Sure, it had been easier at first, they were only twelve. He promised himself that he would get over it sooner or later, but he knew realistically it would take a little while. But this? This was absolutely fucking absurd. He had known Jeremy for almost 13 years, he should have been over this by now.

 

Yet here he was.

Jeremy and him were playing video games in his basement, a normality at this point. Sure, it was different since the SQUIP, but it had gotten better in the year gap. Jeremy was sitting in a bean bag next to him and was intently watching the screen in front of him, trying to beat Michael at Mario Kart. Michael wasn’t trying very hard, he was very distracted by a certain someone casually leaning into him, getting closer as each lap passed. Somehow, though, Michael still won first to third place. Once he crossed the finish line, Michael smiled widely, and let out a small whoop before turning to face his best friend. Jeremy was glaring at Michael, but a small smile was on his lips, and Michael felt his heart stop for a second because  _ holy fuck they were so close _ . He willed himself to not lose his chill as he widened his smile.

 

“You’re mean. You beat me. Again. You’ve won like 13 times!” Jeremy threw his hands up in the air incredulously. Michael chuckled lightly, at his friend, who just pouted at him.

 

“Sorry Jer, it’s not my fault that I’m the Mario Kart King,” Michael raised his voice as he progressed, getting more and more excited. He stood up on top of the bean bag, and did a stupid little victory dance. He heard Jeremy laugh and push his leg, making him fall onto the ground. Michael laughed along with his friend as he got up, his glasses askew on his face and hair a mess, face red from laughing. Maybe something else too but that doesn't matter. Michael looked at Jeremy who was still laughing, crinkles on the edge of his eyes, smile lines present, cheekbones high on his face, and all Michael wanted to do was tone down his gay. If only that was possible.

 

“Hey Mikey, I’m getting kinda hungry what’s your mom making tonight?”

 

“She and Dad are working late, we have the house to ourselves until like midnight. What do you want for dinner?” Jeremy pondered for a moment, his eyebrows pinching in thought, then his eyes lit up. “Pizza?” Michael smiled widely at Jeremy, nodding his head. “Alright Pineapple pizza it is-”

 

“Michael I swear to god if you buy us only a pineapple pizza I will hurt you.” Jeremy looked dead serious at him, his blue eyes almost threatening. Michael silently took out his phone, Jeremy’s eyes never leave his. Michael tried his hardest not to look away as he turned on Siri.

 

“Siri, call Pizza Hut” Jeremy’s eyes narrowed at him. Michael put the phone on the speaker, and the ringing of the phone began. Jeremy and Michael both stayed incredibly quiet.

 

“Hello, Pizza hut.”

 

“Yeah, hi, can I please have a-” Jeremy launched himself at Michael almost silently, and his friend landed right on top of him and pinned his arms to the floor. 

 

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t catch that.” Jeremy gave Michael a warning look. Michael smiled innocently at him.

 

“Sorry. I said could I have a large Barbecue Pineapple pizza, extra sauce please.” Jeremy made an indignant squawk as Michael laughed. He could have sworn the pizza guy laughed too.

 

“Will that be all?”

 

“Yessir””NO” Michael and Jeremy spoke at the same time, but either the pizza guy thought this was funny or he genuinely heard Michael clearer, he spoke once again. “Alright, thank you for your order!” and he hung up. Michael laughed loudly while his friend looked at him in disbelief.

 

“Michael Mell, you are my best friend and I literally love you but I will one hundred percent leave your house right now.” Michael felt his heart actually  _ stop _ for a good three seconds,  trying to process what Jeremy had just said to him, and his face practically lit on fire. Michael, the awkward and lovestruck nerd he is, tries to laugh it off casually while pushing Jeremy off him.

 

“Haha, totally worth it.” He says, totally  _ not _ avoiding Jeremy’s eyes. He hears Jeremy’s groan of disapproval, absolutely oblivious to Michaels flustered state. He tried to school his expression into something a little more neutral and not so... gay. 

 

“By the way, I hope you can eat a whole pizza by yourself because I am  _ not _ touching that abomination.” Michael made a very offended sound

 

******

 

“Jer! The Pizza is here can you go get it for me?” Jeremy rolled his eyes, getting up from the kitchen table where he sat and walked towards the door. He opened just as the Pizza Man had his hand poised to knock again, who slowly moved his hand down and cleared his throat.

 

“One, uh,” the guy looked at the order and made a sour face, “Pineapple Pizza?” Jeremy sighed, taking out his wallet 

 

“Unfortunately.”

 

“Stop trashing on Pineapple Pizza!” Jeremy heard his friend say from the other room. Jeremy chuckled, shaking his head with a small smile as he handed the guy the money. The Pizza man gave him a faux look of sympathy.

 

“Good luck eating that.” He said with a short laugh.

 

“Nah, I’m getting him to make me a sandwich instead” The Pizza man laughed harder at that.

 

“Well, your boyfriend may have awful taste in pizza, but at least he doesn’t force it on you,” He said jokingly.

 

“He’s uh, he’s not my boyfriend.” Jeremy heard his awkwardness as his face quickly heated up.The Pizza man frowns slightly.

 

“Oh, sorry for assuming.” Before Jeremy could reply though, Michael walked over to the door frowning, and he was wearing a stupidly frilly apron that was probably his Mom’s. Jeremy laughed slightly but attempted to muffle it best he could.

 

“Yo, dude, what’s taking so long? Something wrong with my pizza?” Michael sounded genuinely concerned, which made Jeremy laugh again.

 

“No, Michael. Nothing except it has pineapple” His friend gave him an unimpressed look and took the pizza, leaving to the kitchen.

 

“By the way, Jeremy, I hope nothing happens to your sandwich.”  Jeremy gave him the bird as he walked away, then turned back to the Pizza Man.

 

“Thank you for our pizza.” and then he left. Jeremy closed the door behind him and headed to make sure his sandwich was okay, and that Michael didn’t corrupt it.

 

In the dining room, Michael was eating his pizza like there was no tomorrow, and a plate with what looked like a BBQ sandwich sat in front of the chair next to him. Jeremy sat down next to his friend and picked up his sandwich cautiously, then took a bite. Then he took another bite. And another, and another and-

 

“Jesus Jer, slow down! You’re going to choke and die if you eat any faster!” Michael chuckled, swallowing his bite of pizza. Jeremy rolled his eyes at his friend, but he did slow down a little, but not by much. Michael snorted. “I take it the sandwich is good?” Jeremy made a sound of confirmation at the back of his throat, taking another bite. 

 

Then Michael started to laugh. Jeremy pinched his eyebrows in confusion, which made Michael laugh even more. He swallowed his bite and set the sandwich down.

 

“What’s so funny? Did you put, like, poison in it or something. Am I going to die?” He never got a reply though, as Michael just kept laughing. He was laughing so hard that small snorts had started to escape his mouth as well, making Jeremy smile a little. Michaels seemed like he couldn’t control his laughing at all, making Jeremy worry some.

 

“Seriously Michael, what’s so funny?”

 

“Jeremiah Heere, you like pineapple pizza.” Jeremy looked at his friend, confused.

 

“What do you mean? I’m eating the Barbecue sandwich that you mad-” Jeremy stopped, realization dawning on his face.He opened up the bread of his sandwich to reveal a piece of Michael’s pineapple pizza cut up to fit into the rectangle space. The little shit. “Oh my god, Michael, I am going to kill you!” He said indignantly, but Michael was laughing to hard to even respond. His dimples were fully showing, eyes crinkling, and loud snorts escaping his mouth. Jeremy felt something hit hard in his chest as he looked at his best friend. Though, he wasn’t really sure what it was.

 

Jeremy hadn’t noticed that he was staring until Michael gave him a funny look. “You okay? Is there like some barbecue sauce on my face or something?” Jeremy thought of something he could say, then quickly stuttered out a “No, sorry I spaced out, that’s all.” Michael gave him a look but went back to eating his pizza. Jeremy refused to touch his again, but secretly he seriously wanted to eat it. It had been really good.

 

When Michael finished about half of his pizza, he turned to Jeremy. “Wanna watch a movie?”

 

*********

 

“Oh my god, Michael, we are  _ not _ watching the bee movie!” Michael giggled at how appalled his friend sounded.

 

“It’s for the meme, Jer!” Jeremy rolled his eyes with a soft, almost fond, smile on his lips, making Michael’s chest practically swell. He almost missed Jeremy swiping the remote from him to scroll through Netflix. Michael watched the screen, to see if anything caught his attention. It all seemed really bland and boring until-

 

“Jer, let’s watch that one!” Jeremy stopped abruptly on the movie he had chosen, and read the title with amusement in his voice.

 

“‘Unsealed: Alien Files’, really?” Michael nodded, a smile on his lips. Jeremy pretended to be annoyed, but he knew his best friend secretly liked it. Jeremy put on the movie grumbling something under his breath that sounded a lot like ‘fukin nerd’, making Michael smile. The show started, and they watched in a comfortable silence until Michael noticed that Jeremy was shivering slightly.

“Oh my god are you, are you cold?” Jeremy looks at him and nods sheepishly. Michael shakes his head and smiles fondly, taking off his sweatshirt and throwing it at his friend. “Here you go you fucking beanpole,” He says it jokingly, and he can hear a slight fondness in his voice, and he prays Jeremy doesn’t. Jeremy chuckles as he throws Michaels hoodie over his head 

 

“Whatever, shortie.”

 

“Shortie! I’m an inch shorter than you!” He cries at his friend, turning to him to argue, but his words get lost in his throat because,  _ wow _ , Jeremy looks really, really adorable in his hoodie. Since it was slightly large on Michael, it fit him length wise nicely, but the sleeves were slightly long, reaching the top of his palms, and was incredibly large at the waist because Michael was quite a bit thicker in the waist. Michael tried his hardest to not make a noise like a strangled animal and quickly turned his attention back to the TV.

 

“Oh yeah, by the way,” Jeremy started excitedly, “Christine, Rich, Jake and I are going to the movies tomorrow afternoon. Wanna come?”

 

Michael pondered this. Of course, he wanted an excuse to hang out with Jeremy more, but he also didn’t want to intrude on their friendship bonding time or whatever. Not to mention Michael is not really the best at talking to the others. Sure, he hangs out with them during lunch all the time now, but he hasn't gotten particularly close to any of them except Christine and obviously Jeremy. Sometimes, Michael doesn’t really feel that  _ wanted _ in the group. For hell's sake, they were all bonded by a squip, or something like that. Even so... Michael sighed. 

 

“Alright, sure. I'll tag along.” Jeremy smiled happily at him with all his dorky charm, making Michael's stomach do flips. 

 

“Thanks, Mikey, you're honestly the best,” Michael felt his heart rate jump as Jeremy rested his hand on his and put his head on his shoulder. Michael one hundred percent almost died for what felt like the thousandth time that night. Even if he logically knew it was all platonic, his mind and body obviously still hadn’t gotten the message even if it had been years. Sometimes, Michael truly wished he didn’t have feelings for his best friend, but then again, why wouldn't he love this dorky beanpole? He was just too damn lovable.

 

But Michael might be biased.

 

The documentary was quite interesting and Michael was seriously trying to pay attention, but he also couldn’t focus with a cute boy leaning onto him, practically dozing off. Or at least he was until he asked Michael something, concerned.

 

“Michael, what are these?” Jeremy was referring to something on his arms. Oh. Michael had forgotten about those.

 

“Oh, uh, i-it’s nothing. I just, uh, I fell?” It came out as a question, and Michael scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Jeremy moved his head off Michael’s shoulder and looked at him, concern etched deep into his face.

 

“Michael, if you had fallen, it wouldn’t have looked like that. I also highly doubt you fell on the inside of your arm.”

 

“Jer, seriously, it’s nothing. It was a year ago. Things happened and-”

 

“Holy shit it’s my fault isn’t it,” Jeremy looked like he was about to cry, and Michael was not liking it.

 

“Oh my god, Jeremy no! It was not your fault I relapsed I just-”

 

“Michael a year ago was the squip! Jakes party! Fuck, Michael I just, oh my god” Tears were forming in Jeremy's eyes. Michael felt something build up in his chest. He  _ knew _ he shouldn’t’ve taken off his sweater, but his best friend in need instincts overrule everything. Michael took Jeremy’s hands in his, despite his brain telling him this was a bad idea.

 

“Jeremy, Jeremy please look me in the eyes.” Jeremy looked up at him, eyes incredibly watery. Michael’s heart almost broke, “I am fine, okay? I know you're worried, and I know you want to blame yourself right now, but please don’t. This was absolutely not your fault,” Jeremy opened his mouth to make an argument but Michael didn’t stop talking, “Jeremy you were angry, scared, and drunk so you can’t blame yourself. Also, I’ve already told you I’ve forgiven you, okay? Please don’t blame yourself.” Jeremy was still crying, but there was a small smile on his face. Michael pulled Jeremy into a strong hug, and Jeremy hugged back tightly. He refused to let go until he knew for sure his best friend had stopped crying, but apparently, he had waited a little too long.

 

Jeremy had fallen asleep.In Michael’s arms.

 

God, he was fucked.

 

Michael took at look at the time, to see it was getting quite late. It was 11:30 pm, meaning his parents would probably be home soon. As if on cue, his dad walked through the door, barely even acknowledging the two boys cuddling on the living room couch. His mom walked in minutes later, but she took a small double take on her son and his friend. A small smile appeared on her face as she leaned against the door frame.

 

“Evening boys. How's it going.” Michael felt his face grow red, knowing his mom would probably never shut up about this. Since he had  _ incredibly _ supportive parents, they constantly asked if Michael had a boyfriend but the answer was always the same. One day, though, his mom somehow weaseled out that small bit of information that Michael had a thing for his best friend, and now she wouldn’t shut up about it. He appreciated his parents being supportive, obviously, but god sometimes his parents needed to tone it down.

 

“Oh, you know, normal. Just hanging watching alien documentaries.” Michael tried his best to sound casual. His mom sorted in amusement.

 

“Wow, so romantic. No wonder he fell asleep Geez, Mikey. Couldn't've picked something a little more interesting?”

 

“Mom, I’m not trying to be romantic. Beside’s, this is interesting!” His mom raised her eyebrows at him, amusement in her brown eyes. 

 

“Just make sure you guys don’t make a mess.” She winked and walked away. Michaels face felt on fire, just the thought of what she was implying made him embarrassed.

 

“moM” his mom laughed as she got to her bedroom. Michael prayed to every god that Jeremy wasn’t awake for this, and hoped that he would fall asleep soon.

 

**********

“Michael! We have to leave in like 20 minutes, get the hell up!” Michael groaned as the taller boy pushed him off the couch and he landed on the floor with a soft thud. Michael groaned, but got up nonetheless. He put his glasses back on half-heartedly and started to walk back upstairs when he tried to put his hands in the pocket of his jacket. He didn’t have his jacket on.

 

“Jer, didja still have my jacket?” His voice was deep and slurred from sleep. He heard the patter of feet on the carpet as Jeremy made his way to him, and his head popped around the corner.

 

“Hm? I didn’t quite hear you.” His hair was a jumbled mess from sleep, and suddenly Michael was more awake than before.

 

“Jacket? I let you borrow it last night.” Jeremy’s face painted an adorable color of red as he nodded. “Could I possibly have it back?” A smile appeared on Michaels' face when Jeremy turned impossibly red, matching the stolen jacket, as he took it off.  He threw it directly at Michael's face.

 

“It’s like, really warm. I see why you wear it so much.” Michael nodded as he slipped the hoodie over his head, feeling instantly warm. “Anyways, get ready. We need to seriously leave soon. The movie starts in like 15 minutes.” Michael hummed in response as he made his way upstairs. He walked into his bedroom, closing the door lightly behind him. Everything had been strewn about from them playing games last night, bean bags still in the middle of the room, trampled from when they ordered pizza. Michael smiled lightly at the thought and went to his closet to look for clothes.

 

He pulled out a random Tshirt and some dark jeans, throwing them on quickly, not really caring what he looked like. He glanced the mirror to see his hair an absolute mess, sticking every which way and slightly curly. He ran his hand through it, trying his best to tame it before they went out. When he was at least half satisfied with his appearance, Michael walked into the kitchen to find Jeremy struggling to make some sort of food. Michael chuckled at his friend, coming up behind him. 

 

“Whatcha making there, buddy?” Jeremy jumped a little into the air, turning around. Michael laughed slightly.

 

“Jesus Michael! You almost gave me a heart attack! And I was trying to make a smoothie but it’s not working. We need to leave anyway. Do you have your mom’s keys?” Michael looked around, then found them on the kitchen table. He was going to walk out the door when he realized, 

 

“Jeremy, have you seen my phone?” 

 

“Oh, yeah. It was in your Sweater pocket so I just kept it in my jeans. Here” Jeremy handed him his phone, and they were out the door. Jeremy hopped into the car without a moment's hesitation, excitement obvious. Michael, though, did slightly hesitate, still feeling awkward around everyone. Sure enough, though, he opened up the door and slid into the front seat of his mom’s car. He put the key in and turned it, the engine roaring to life. He was going to turn out of the driveway when he caught his friend's eye in the mirror.

 

“You know you don’t have to come, right? Like I know I asked and all, but I also know that you can get anxious around others, and I don’t want you to feel that way just because I asked you to go to some stupid movie” He sounded so sincere and it made Michael’s heard swell, because, god, he had the best friend in the world. What did he ever do to deserve Jeremy?

 

“Don’t worry, Jer, I’ll be fine. Yeah I mean sometimes I feel a bit… Awkward, but it’s honestly fine. Anything for my favwowite person” Jeremy laughed loudly, smile reaching his eyes and Michael physically felt his eyes soften, he tried his best to control the heart eyes but sometimes he just couldn’t help it. This boy was too damn cute.  Jeremy stopped laughing and looked at Michael again, a ghost of a smile still on his face.

 

“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable, you know?” Michael nodded and smiled at his friend, knowing full well how he felt.

 

“I know, but I want to come with you. I’ll be fine as long as I’m not like, put on the spot or anything. Also, sorry to ruin the friendship bonding and stuff, but we are going to be so late to the movie.”  Jeremy’s smile faded quickly, replaced by horror. Michael laughed only slightly as he pulled out of the driveway, going towards the theatre. The drive there was particularly uneventful, besides the tapping of Michael’s fingers on the steering wheel.

Well, outwardly that’s all that was happening. Inwardly Michael was silently freaking out. He had told Jeremy that he was fine with hanging out with him and the others, but it, in reality, made him highly anxious. He loved them, seriously he did, but sometimes he secretly wished it was just him and Jeremy again. Player one and player two. Although then again, that might be his jealousy talking.

 

When they got to the cinema, they ran up to the front only to find their friends waiting for them. Jeremy looked at them, confused.

 

“Why aren’t you guys inside already? Doesn’t the movie start like, right now?” He sounded slightly winded. Christine looked at them curiously, cocking her head to the side before turning to Jake.

 

“You forgot to text them?”  Jake looked at her, guilt evident in his face as he shrugged and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

“Well I was  _ going to _ , but then I, uh, I got sidetracked.” Rich snorted in amusement next to Jake, and Jake gave him a pointed glare, red rising up his neck. Christine, in response, scrunched up her nose in disgust. “Ew guys, that's disgusting” A small laugh escaped afterward though, showing she was obviously joking. Rich, in response, stuck out his tongue at her.

 

“I mean, she’s not  _ wrong _ ,” Jeremy said next to Michael, earning a laugh. Rich just looked at him, faux shock on his face.

 

“You’re just jealous” Jeremy, being the nerd he is, put a hand on his chest and gasped loudly, kinda like those old ladies when you offend them. He stuttered fakely on his words until he finally decided to form a sentence.

 

“I am  _ not _ jealous,” He said incredulously.  Rich laughed and shook his head.

 

“Anyways,” Christine intervene, “ Rich got the movie time wrong by an hour. So we’re stuck here until then, and since there is no point in going inside, we thought we would hang out here.” Jeremy slumped slightly next to Michael. “Man, I was super excited to.” Jake clapped a hand on Jeremy’s back with maybe a little more force than necessary.

 

“Sorry, dude, at least we’re still seeing it though.”

 

The four decided to sit in front of the theatre in a small circle, earning them a few looks. Michael tried his best to not let it get to him, trying to focus himself on the group. The conversation was slightly all over the place, jumping from subject to subject. They talked about Christine's most recent idea for a play (“Christine I don’t think anyone is ready to do another play  _ just  _ yet”), they talked about school and the teachers they hated. The most recent conversation topic, though, was school gossip. That meant relationships.

“You know, I think that Jenna was more upset about our breakup than I was,” Jeremy said with a laugh, and Christine nodded along with him. Michael tried to  _ not _ feel the twinge of jealousy in his chest. Christine was Ace Aro, he knew that logically her and Jeremy would never get back together, but Michael still worried sometimes.

 

“I think Jenna cares more about our relationships than we do,” Jake said pointedly, and Rich nodded in agreement

 

“Yeah, no shit. Did you see how happy she was when we got together?” Michael tried his best to not fidget awkwardly.  He wanted to try and contribute to the conversation, but he had never really had a real relationship. Sure he had  _ tried _ to date people, but it never lasted longer than a month. Nobody really clicked with him. Christine, bless her, helped Michael out though by adding him into the conversation.

 

“So, Michael, you have your eyes on a girl?”

 

Nope, he takes it back. He is no longer thankful. Jeremy, though, started laughing, probably harder than necessary. Michael couldn’t help but crack a smile as well. The group looked at the two of them with confused expressions, making Michael laugh along with Jeremy.

 

“What? It was just a question?” Christine’s eyebrows knitted together. When Jeremy calmed down, he turned to her with a goofy smile, making Michael’s heart flutter.

 

“Christine, Michael is literally the definition of gay. He won’t have his eyes on a girl for a very long time.” Christine’s face went from confusion to dawning realization in a matter of seconds. It was quite funny to Michael until she started talking that is.

 

“oh. Oh. OH. Wait, okay, this makes so much more sense now. Hey, I’m gonna borrow Michael for a second, kay?” She got up quickly and grabbed Michael by the wrist, pulling him away from the confused group. Michael, though, was the most confused.  _ What makes more sense now.  _ What on earth could she be talking about?  Although he did want to know, he also really didn't at the same time. 

 

Once Christine pulled him off to the side of the building, she let go of his wrist and looked at him almost curiously. He wanted to sink into his jacket under her gaze, no matter how unthreatening she was. Finally, she spoke with certainty that made Michael's skin crawl. 

 

“You have a thing for Jeremy, right?” Michael felt something in his stomach that could only be described as anxiety as his stomach swooped uncomfortably. He willed himself to not appear as startled as he felt, forcing his face to stay still. 

“W-what do you mean?” Christine gave him a very unimpressed look, and he felt his heart drop slightly. 

 

“Michael, I may be ace aro, but I’m not stupid. I know a crush when I see one, and you? You most definitely have one on Jeremy.” Michael felt his face fall, and Christine must’ve seen too because she started again quickly. “Nonono, don’t worry, it’s not that obvious. Probably.I just, I see the way you look at him and you look very, uh,” Christine stopped for a moment to think of a word, “Fond.” she said finally. Michael’s face heated up with a blush. Did he seriously looked at Jeremy  _ fondly _ ?

 

Probably.

 

“Why’s it matter anyways? It’s not like I’m gonna ask him out or anything.” Michael said with a shrug. Christine looked at him with a sort of sympathy, and he  _ hated  _ it.

 

“That's why it matters. I’m here to help. Think of me as your… Wing woman!” Christine sounded so excited, and it made Michael almost excited as well. Almost. Sure, of course, he wanted to date Jeremy, but also he didn’t want to fuck up 12 years of friendship over a crush. It’s a stupid and unreasonable thing to do. Yet…

 

Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Alright, say I let you help me. What would you do?” Christine smiled widely at him.

 

***********

 

Jeremy was still on the ground with Rich and Jake when Michael came back with Christine. Jeremy tried his best to not have a full blown smile when he saw Michael, which was harder than expected. Jeremy was seriously  _ not _ liking this new found (Or maybe not so newfound) fondness he had for Michael. It was slightly annoying in Jeremy’s opinion. It made an everyday activity involving Michael so much harder. For example, when Jeremy woke up that morning with Michael’s arms wrapped around him, he became a blushing mess. Even more of a blushing mess when he looked up at Michaels sleeping face, his glasses askew and a ghost of a smile on his face. He had been so peaceful, and it had made Jeremy feel something in his heart want to awe at it

 

Okay so  _ maybe _ it was a little more of a fondness.

 

It had been there for a while, that pit in his stomach, the blushing, the slight anxiety around his best friend. It had started about a month after him and Christine had broken up. Jeremy had tried his best to ignore it, he really did, but the feeling was so persistent, and it seriously didn’t want to go away. But it wasn’t really a crush  _ yet _ , it was just a…

 

God who was he even kidding.

 

“Hey guys, it’s almost time for the movie!” Christine said excitedly, forcing everyone to rise. Jeremy was about to get up when he noticed a hand above his face, belonging to Michael. Jeremy smiled slightly and let his friend help him up, pointedly ignoring how soft and warm his hands were. Sometimes Jeremy swears his best friend is a walking heater.

 

Once they got inside, Jeremy followed Michael up to the front where they sold overpriced candies and popcorn. He looked at the plethora of choices and realized he only really had enough money for a small chocolate bar. Before he could get to the front, though, Michael was already at the front ordering things.

 

“Yeah, Hi, uh, can I have some starbursts, a Hershey chocolate, and two cokes?”  Jeremy gave his friend a curious look as he paid for the items and walked back his way, hands full. Jeremy jogged up to Michael and took a drink before his friend dropped it and Michael gave him a grateful smile.

 

“Michael, I thought you literally hated starbursts?” His friend gave him a large smile, handing Jeremy the bag of his favorite candy. 

 

“Yeah, but you love them. So I bought them for you,” Jeremy looked at him curiously, and Michael chuckled, “What? Is it so weird that I wanna buy my friend a candy?” Jeremy sighed and shrugged, taking the candy and drink from Michael. After the others got their things they all headed to the theatre they would be seeing the movie in, where commercials were already showing. The five found seats in a suspiciously good spot near the middle of the theatre. Jeremy automatically sat next to Michael, making him at the end of the line. As they settled in, Michael leaned himself to the side and rested his head on his hands, practically leaning into Jeremy.

 

But Jeremy obviously  _ didn’t _ mind. Nope, not at all. He definitely didn’t mind they were as close as Rich and Jake, who were a fucking couple. He definitely wasn’t thinking about laying his head on top of Michaels. Jeremy snuck a look at his friend, to see him trying to hide a blush that was creeping on his cheeks. Jeremy tried to bite back a smile because for some reason seeing Michael blush was so satisfying to him. It’s not like it even meant anything.

 

Unless it did?

 

Jeremy tried to push that voice back into his head. It was obviously wrong. Then another voice in his head popped up that sounded suspiciously familiar, and Jeremy had to physically force himself to not groan in annoyance. The SQUIPs voice in the back of his head was persistent, but contained no real power, thankfully. It was immensely weakened by the Mnt. Dew red, and was reduced to just a pessimistic voice that occurred occasionally.  _ You know Jeremy _ … it started slyly, and Jeremy willed for it to stop. He didn’t need this right now, he was supposed to be having fun with his friends.

 

“Jer? Earth to Jeremy?” Jeremy hadn't realized he had been spacing out until Michael had started talking to him. “Jeremy, are you okay? You look upset?” Worry was present in Michael’s voice, and Jeremy felt a twinge of sadness that he made his friend worry so easy. Michael was far too good a person.

 

“I’m fine, Mikey, don’t worry.” Michael smiled at this, making Jeremy’s heart do a flip. God did he hate crushes. 

 

Then the lights of the theatre dimmed and revealed… well more commercials. But that also meant the movie started soon. Jeremy was then startled by a hand tapping his shoulder, and Michael leaning in close to him. Jeremy’s heart sped up  _ annoyingly _ fast as Michael started to speak.

 

“Hey, uh, I forgot to ask, but what movie are we watching?”  

 

“Oh, uh, Wonder woman I think?” Michaels face lit up, and Jeremy seriously hoped his face didn’t look as fond as he felt. Michael’s face was smiling brightly as ever, the lights of the commercials danced across his face and reflected on the edges of his glasses. He was too damn pretty.

 

The movie soon started, and Jeremy would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the way Michael kept leaning in close to him to make a comment on the movie.

 

**********

 

Christine loved Jeremy, she really did, but dear  _ god _ could that boy talk. Is this what Michael felt like when Jeremy was pining over her? She made a mental note to apologize to Michael for that. He must have endured so much random information about her, and probably her eyes (She guessed since Jeremy seemed to talk about Michael’s so much), which must have majorly sucked, considering he had a crush on Jeremy. Christine couldn’t even begin to imagine-

 

“Christine, are you even listening?” Jeremy’s voice startled Christine out of her wandering thoughts, and she had probably jumped, judging by the look on Jeremy's face. “You weren’t, huh?” She smiled guiltily at him.

 

“You were talking about Michael’s eyes?” Jeremy smiled slightly at the mention of his best friend, and Christine let out an amused snort, earning a dirty glare from Jeremy.

 

“But seriously, Christine, I need help! What am I going to do!”

 

“You could talk to him?” Jeremy started to shake his head. “Come on Jeremy! Nothing’s going to go wrong! What’s the worst that could happen, honestly?” Jeremy gave her a pointed look, and Christine raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to reply.

“Well I mean, for starters, he could completely turn me down. He could hate me.”

 

“Jeremy, how likely is that? Honestly, he is your best friend! I highly doubt he would hate you because you like him.” Now, Christine knew for a fact that Michael wouldn't hate him, because she also knew that Michael had been pining over him for a very, very long time but Jeremy didn’t know that, and she needed to keep it that way for now. Jeremy would eventually figure it out, but Christine wasn’t about to out Michael, that was his job to do. Plus she promised Michael that she would never do that because she is a good friend. Jeremy let out a pathetic whine.

 

“But what if!” Christine sighed and rolled her eyes.

 

“Jeremy, you’re running on a lot of what ifs here. Look, just talk to him, it can’t be that hard. I mean, it’s not like I'm asking you to talk to a stranger, it’s just Michael.”

 

“That’s the problem though! It’s Michael! Michael who I’ve known for thirteen years, Michael who has seen me at my best and worst times, Michael who knows me better than anyone in the whole world, Michael who I once dubbed ‘honorary brother’ as a joke in fifth grade! We have literally been through everything together, and this could potentially fuck everything up!” Jeremy was pacing Christine's small room now, going back and forth in front of her bed. Christine watched with her eyebrows raised as Jeremy practically wore a hole in her carpet, wringing his hands together muttering softly. She heaved a small sigh, she promised to help Michael. Here goes nothing.

 

“Jeremy, please listen to me,” She made her voice soft, to hopefully make him not worry as much, “I know it’s a terrifying thought. Granted, I’ve never actually asked anyone out before, but I can imagine how scary it would be. Michael is your best friend, you two have been through everything together, but I feel like that would heighten your chances in a way.” Jeremy made a soft sound of confusion and cocked his head. “Well, you two know each other really well, you said it yourself. So, in theory, that would make it easier to grow feelings. Also, if you two did get together, that would make for a strong and beautiful relationship. So, I say you text him later tonight and ask him if he wants to like, go to lunch. Then you can tell him how you feel?” 

 

“I don’t know if I’m really ready for that.” 

 

“Well then, just think about it at least? I think that would be an amazing opportunity.”

 

********

Jeremy sighed, anxiety filling his stomach as he grabbed his phone and opened the text app.

 

To: ✩Player 1✩

  * Hey Mikey u wanna go to lunch tomorrow



 

Right after Jeremy sent the text, he tossed his phone to the other side of the bed quickly, like it was suddenly on fire. He’s second guessing himself again, but his phone didn’t delete texts, so there was no going back now. Moments later, Jeremy got a text and the sound made him jump. Breathe Jeremy, it’s just your best friend.

 

From: ✩Player 1✩

  * Yeah sure when and where
  * Can i stay at ur house after



 

To: ✩Player 1✩

  * Sure
  * Also i was thinking like that one cheap place near the school at like 2



 

Yeah, okay, so it wasn’t the most ideal or romantic place in the world, but Jeremy hoped Michael wouldn’t mind. That and he was a broke junior in high school without a job, so he couldn’t afford much.

 

From: ✩Player 1✩

  * Cool
  * See u then



 

Jeremy sighed, partly with relief, partly annoyance at his anxiety. He shouldn’t be this nervous. At least he had asked, now he couldn’t get out of it.

 

********

 

Michael looked in the full-length mirror one last time, taking a long hard look at himself. He was over thinking this  _ way _ too much, he was only going to lunch with Jeremy, but also he knew that Christine put him up to it to give Michael a nudge in the right direction. She had texted him almost right after Jeremy had said ‘btw I told Jeremy to go out to lunch with you, hope it goes well ;)’ and so, Michael definitely started to overthink. He had gotten nervous he had actually asked his mom for advice, which in hindsight wasn’t the best idea.

 

“Mikey! Are you ready yet! I swear you take longer than any girl.” Michael heard his mom laughed heartily. Michael rolled his eyes with a small smile as he opened his bedroom door and walked down the stairs his mom gave his outfit a once over and raised an eyebrow

 

“You know, for taking so long you look eerily similar to everyday clothes.” Michael rolled his eyes at his mom.

 

“Well, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m always wearing this jacket and some sort of jeans. I only own one pair of shoes, so that isn’t changing. I need these glasses to, you know see, since you gave me your bad eyesight, and I don’t think I’m getting a new haircut just to go to lunch with my friend. Not sure what you were expecting.”

 

“I don’t know, maybe like a button down of sorts? Something that isn’t an oversized red sweatshirt.” Michael raised an eyebrow.

 

“Mom, if I wore a button down I think Jeremy would believe the world was ending. Or that I was sick. Plus I’m going to his house afterward so like-”

 

“Oh, you're going to his house?” His mom wiggled her eyebrows at him, and Michael felt heat rise to his face.

 

“mOM!” His Mom laughed at his flustered state, making Michael scowl at her. 

 

“I’m sorry, Mikey, but I couldn’t help it. I am happy for you, though. You deserve to be happy with Jeremy. Plus you’ve been pining after him for years and it’s getting sad.” 

 

“Gee, thanks, Mom. You’re so encouraging.” His mom smiled at him and shrugged her shoulders. Michael took his phone out of his pocket to check the time, to see he was running late. “Shit. I gotta to go, Mom. Bye!”  He ran towards his front door waved to his mom before jogging out and jumping into his Mom’s car and driving off.

 

As Michael got closer, the reality of the situation really started to set in. He was going to do it. He was actually about to risk his whole friendship for a crush.God, he was absolutely insane. No time to second guess it now, he was on his way there. How the hell was he even going to confess to Jeremy? Was there even a right way to do that? Probably not. Before he could figure anything out, Michael was already there. He sighed before getting out of the car, trying to calm his rapid heart beat. Calm yourself, Mell. Then there was a sudden knocking on the window of his car, making Michael jump. He looked to see that it was Jeremy, and he let out a short laugh and opened the door.

 

“Lurking outside of my car now, are we? That desperate to see my face?” Jeremy’s face flushed a deep red, making Michael’s stomach do that weird flippy thing. He was certain that if eyes could physically turn into hearts, his eyes would already be hearts. God did he like this boy.

 

“I was not LURKING outside of your car! I-i mean I was looking for it but like-”

 

“Awe, you were looking for me?” Jeremy’s face turned impossibly more red at that, and Michael laughed slightly. “Anyways, wanna go in? I’m starving.” Jeremy nodded and took Michael’s wrist, leading him into the restaurant. He led Michael to a small two person table and pulled out a chair for him before sitting down himself. Almost immediately after they sat down, a waitress came over to them.

 

“Hey, ya’ll, what can I get you two to drink?” She smiled brightly, far too brightly to be real, as they looked over the drinks menu.

 

“Water is fine. How about you, Jer?” Jeremy’s eyebrows scrunched in thought until he looked up at the waitress. “I’ll just have water, thanks.” The waitress smiled at them and ran off. Jeremy instantly turned to face Michael, and Michael almost instantly noticed that he looked almost nervous.  _ Why the hell is he nervous?  _ The only thought that came to mind was that Christine had told him, but Christine promised not to? Yet, Jeremy seemed incredibly awkward and nervous, almost like he wanted to tell him something.

 

“You okay, Jer? You seem… nervous.” Jeremy’s face did something complicated as he processed the question.

 

“Nah, I’m fine. Anyways, I was thinking that when we get back to my house later, we could try and defeat level 15 again.” Michael pretended to not notice that Jeremy had changed the subject, but nodded his head anyway. They had been trying to defeat level 15 of Apocalypse of the Damned for weeks. “Also, I convinced my dad to go to the store to buy a bunch of candies and chips and sodas so we can play all night.”

 

“Sweet.” Michael just hoped there was still a tonight after his confession. “Now I can go into a sugar coma again. Nice plan.” Jeremy laughed at this, head was thrown back and smile completely taken over his slim face. Michaels' heart swelled. How the hell was he going to get through this confession? Once Jeremy’s laughter died down, he flashed a smile at Michael. It was lopsided and dorky and it made Michael feel dumb and mushy because dear  _ god _ this boy was fucking adorable. It was almost too much, and Michael wanted to kiss him so badly, but he couldn’t do that. Hopefully soon.

 

“I think your mom would kill me if I let you go into a sugar coma. I think my dad would too, he likes you too much. I’m pretty sure you’re his favorite son.”

 

“I’m not even his son.”  Jeremy nodded at this, face exasperated.

 

“I  _ know _ ” It was Michael’s turn to laugh now, and he had begun to laugh so hard he snorted. He looked at Jeremy and he went dumb again. Jeremy was smiling at him, and he looked fond and happy. His eyes were soft, dimple showing slightly, and it was aimed towards  _ Michael _ . He seriously hoped his face wasn’t red.

 

“Here are your drinks, boys. Have you two figured out what you’d like to eat?”  Right, they had forgotten to look at the menu.

 

“Uhm.” Michael said intelligently. Jeremy, though, saved the day.

 

“Two Chocolate milkshakes and two large fries, please.” Jeremy flashed the waitress as she finished jotting down the order, then she ran off once more.

 

‘Wow, we get milkshakes  _ and _ candy? Are you sure you’re not trying to put me in a sugar coma?” Jeremy rolled his eyes with a laugh and shook his head.

 

“I’m sure.” Michael nodded with a laugh, and the two fell into a silence. But something hung in the air, a sort of awkward tension that Michael was sure Jeremy could feel too. It was really unsettling and reminded Michael of when the SQUIP first disappeared. This time, though, it wasn’t because of separation. It was because Michael’s gay, pining ass was thinking about confessing. He almost wanted to do it now, rip the band-aid off, get it over with, but he also really wanted to eat his food before getting rejected. Plus the food might help settle the agonizing anxiety Michael felt in his stomach. Or it might cause him to puke. That wasn’t such a good option. But, alas, the waitress quickly returned with their food.

 

“Here you two go. Enjoy!” She exclaimed with another to-bright smile, then went back to the front counter. Michael, now feeling incredibly hungry, instantly grabbed a fry and dipped it into his shake and ate it. A pleased sound escaped his lips.

 

“Oh my god, this is so good.” He said as he grabbed another fry. As he stuffed more food in his mouth, he realized Jeremy wasn’t eating. “Jer? What’s up? Are you not hungry?” Jeremy looked at him and something flashed behind his eyes.

 

“No, it’s not that it’s just…. Can I ask you something?” Michael looked at him curiously but nodded.

 

“I mean yeah, obviously you can.”  Jeremy nodded and took a shaky breath. He seemed to have a hard time looking directly at Michael, and that made him worry.

 

“Okay, so you know how I’m bi?” Michael felt his breath catch in his throat. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to come out of Jeremy’s mouth, but it definitely  _ hadn’t _ been that.

 

“Er, yeah. Why’d you ask? Did you have some sort of epiphany or something?” Michael had said it as a half joke, to try and break the tension, but something flashed on Jeremy’s face.

 

“Well, uh, I mean, kinda?” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck. “The epiphany happened months ago but, uh, well. I kinda like a dude?” Michael felt himself deflate.  _ Oh _ . Good thing he hadn’t confessed.

 

“Oh? Who is it?” He hoped he sounded curious and not upset like he felt. A blush ran up Jeremy's face, reaching the tip of his ears. He mumbled out something, but Michael wasn’t sure what. “What was that?” Jeremy took a shaky breath.

 

“Well, uh? It’s um, you?” Michael felt his heart rate pick up speed, he felt a blush rise to his face, his eyes widened, and he felt his brain and heart go to mush because,  _ oh _ . Jeremy was just full of surprises today. Michael didn’t even know what he was feeling right now except happiness and an incredibly strong urge to kiss Jeremy, but they were in a public place, so that was out. So, he opted to stutter out a reply.

 

“Holy shit, really?” He breathes out. Jeremy nods biting his lip, still not looking at Michael.

 

“Um, yeah, so. That’s a thing. If you, uh, you don’t feel the same or whatever I don’t really care but uh-”

 

“Jeremy, holy shit, Jer. I have literally been pining after you since we were  _ twelve _ . I definitely do feel the same way” Jeremy’s eyes snapped up to him, wide with surprise.

 

“Wait, really?” Michael smiled sheepishly and nodded. Jeremy let out a laugh and Michael saw some tension leave his shoulders. “Wow, okay, I feel dumb now. We could have done this months ago if I’d been more observant.” Michael laughed.

 

“Okay but that’s also partly my fault so like? We were both dumb.” Jeremy nodded with a smile, but then looked nervous again. 

 

“So, does this mean we’re dating? Can I call you boyfriend?” Michael felt his heart flutter at the boyfriend. Jeremy Heere, the boy who he had been pining after since the sixth grade, the boy who he spent every waking minute thinking about, the boy who he was absolutely fucking obsessed with, was his boyfriend. Michael had a lot of good moments in life, the time he came out to his parents, the time he and Jeremy went to Disneyworld for a week, the day he and Jeremy started to be okay after the SQUIP, all of it was good. But this, this moment right here, the moment Jeremy had asked him to be his boyfriend, topped it all.

 

“Nothing in the entire world would make me happier, Jeremy Heere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet hope yall liked this absolute mess I just threw at you, and I hope yall don't mind that it is all in one chapter. There really isn't enough actual plot to put it into multiple chapters so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I love comments! I read all of them, and I try to reply to all of them too! If I don't get to you right away I apologize, but I am a high schooler and I'm finishing up summer school rn. Also, please give me love, I spent way too long fixing the formatting on this bc when I copy and paste it, A03 messes up my formatting
> 
> Also, I might add an epilogue if yall want? It would probably have some Boyfs making out ;) but uh, comment if you want an epilogue  
> EDIT 7/25: I AM URRENTLY WRITING THE EPILOUGE SO YEE LOOK OUT FOR THAT
> 
> My instagram is aceof.artss if you wanna follow me, it is an art account though. But I post loads of bmc art.


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